I hear your hair is long again. That means she pissed you off. Does that also mean you've got someone new?
It did then.
I hate that one mention of your name and I'm back looking for you.
I miss you. In my gut. I still fucking miss you.
It's been years.
We weren't together.
But I miss you.
I miss your giggle, you know the one.
I miss your hands in my hair.
I miss the laughing.
I miss the fighting.
I miss the awkwardness that was me falling for someone again.
I miss the awkwardness that was you compartmentalizing cheating on your girlfriend.
I miss your ballsyness.
I miss your fear.
I miss hearing you tell me you'd seen me then.
That it was differnt.
That it was just a game with the Tease but it was more with me.
I miss you blushing whenever you caught yourself saying things like that.
I miss pissing you off.
I miss you apologizing sincerely.
I miss your arms around me in the backseat of my car.
I miss hiding in broad daylight to get our fix.
I miss "candy"
I miss devil cat stories and "meetings"
Ha. I miss apple time.
I can't believe it's been all this time and I still miss you.
Everytime I think it's over and I'm fine. It was a thing that happened and abruptly ended.
That it was just a low point.
That it was the last time I'd let myself be the other woman.
Every single time I get to perfect and wonderful and great again...i hear your name.
Then I'm wrecked again.
Missing you.
Questions:
What happened the last time you were here?
Why did you pace so much?
What was that kiss for?
Why did it take you so long to leave?
Do you remember holding my hands?
Do you remember pausing to rest your head on my shoulder?
Do you remember the crack in your voice the last time we spoke?
Do you remember the tears in my eyes the last time I saw you?
Did you mean to simply wave?
Did you see me crumble?
Where the fuck have you been?
Why didn't you look me up?
Are you engaged yet?
Are you still lying about what we did?
Are you ashamed or still capable of keeping that seperate?
Did you know I was falling?
Was I right that you were too?
Do you think of me the way you did?
Does anyone know other than me?
Are you still so fond of post-its?
Anymore tattoos?
Does she know where your spot is?
Do you miss me like this...
I am not proud of letting myself..getting myself into the situation we were in. I did not intend to still think about you.
God, do you know about him?
Jesus, that would have pissed you off.
You hated anytime I was with someone else. Even though you went home to her.
One mention.
That's all it was.
"I saw him. His hair is sooo long"
and I'm a mess all over again.
11:13 p.m. - Thursday, Jun. 28, 2012