Update! That cake is ahhhhh-mazing.
It's crumbly like a coffee cake but has this rich nutty flavor to it.
the crust on the bottom is heavenly.
will definitly be making that baby again.
but today, is all about homework.
ok.
so far today is all about relaxing and lounging around but!
as soon as I eat the scrumptious lunch awaiting me(garlic chicken, low cal alfredo, over spaghetti. mmmmmmm)
it will be all about homework.
i have a story to type up and pass in and some crtiques to do.
then that's it for this class and I am down to just ONE MORE CLASS.
I'm not sure if you understand how amazing this is, so let me explain.
A little backstory, perhaps..
In 2001, I was 18 years old, three months out of high school, and moving into a dorm to complete a 4 year plan like 90% of my classmates. I busted into Rivier College naieve and oddly determined.
I was 6 years old when I decided I wanted to go to college to get an English Degree.
I loved to write and create. I felt I was very good with grammar and could be an awesome teacher.
At about 15, i decided being a teacher wasn't for me because of the rules invloved. What happened to creativity if you were stuffed into a box?
So! The dream changed. I headed into college thinking I'll have an English degree in 2005 and then we'll see how I want to use it, but I'll have it.
Then, I got into a lot of trouble.
I lost my friends, some because I was away from home, some because it was time to lose them, and some for reasons still unknown to me.
I was seriously missing my family.
I was drinking. A lot. Actually, I was drinking constantly. There wasn't a lot of sober time for me when I was at Riv.
I was failing classes that should have been simple for me.
I was trying to get help and being turned down by pissed off professors.
I hated my advisor.
Hated the head of my department.
Oh! I also was thisclose to getting arressted not once, but twice.
I skipped out on a resturant bill, shoplifted daily, and had basically lost myself.
And that was just my first year.
By the end of my second year I was alternating between crying all day and generally being an utter bitch.
When my financial standing left me without transcripts to transfer, i headed home.
That was in 2003.
Two years passed and I can't exactly tell you what happened during them.
I was drunk a lot. High a lot. Unhappy. Lost. I dated some boys. I fucked some other ones. I rid myself of some people that weren't good for me. I went back to the job I had in high school which took a serious toll on my self worth.
I reconnected with a couple Riv kids but quickly seperated myself from them due to my utter hatred of the place and time I'd felt I wasted there.
I was a shell of myself.
In 2005, I'd settled into Sales. Finding a job within the industry that suited me. That job left me with a whole hell of a lot of free time. I took to working out, quit smoking, and found SNHU Online.
the cost wasn't horrible, I'd heard of the school before, in short, it was a good fit for my situation.
So i applied, was accepted, and officially transferred.
2005! I went back in 2005.
I had planned on another 3 years since I was going in with barely enough credits to qualify as a sophmore, let alone junior. Then the accelated courses hit me. Its a lot of work to take a course with as much work as a traditional 16 weeks course squashed into 8 weeks.
Specifically when you're an English Language & Literature Major. You're expected to read and analyze entire novels(some of them being 800+ pages) within a week. It's work. Working full time was a must for me. I love working. I need money. Someday, I would like a place of my own afterall and racking up a lot of bills means I need money to pay them. So I dropped down to part time school. Just one class every 8 weeks.
It's been an interesting journey.
I went off to college like everyone expected right out of high school.
Then I came home and unexpectedly, I decided I'd go back.
I wanted this since I was a kid.
I'm not known for always following through. Not on goals for myself.
As I grown older, I seem to be getting much better at that.
This goal, means more to me than any other I've set for myself.
In 8 weeks time, I'll have a degree I started working toward a decade ago.
It's a big fucking deal.
I'm excited.
I'm nervous.
I'm overwhelmed.
I'm fucking ecstatic.
getting this degree means I made it. For me, it means that.
It doesn't matter to me if anyone else gets that.
I've had one hell of a fan club during my time working on this degree.
I've done homework during work, SNL Parties, Road trips, vacations, birthday celebrations, and so on.
I can't wait to not have homework anymore.
To have Sundays to do as I please without the nagging deadline of an assignment.
although, having that certialy gets you ready for life.
If I am to become a writer in any respect, I suppose a deadline will have to be my friend, wont it?
This..this is what happy feels like.
and I like it.
12:53 p.m. - Sunday, Apr. 29, 2012