i lurrrve chicken fried rice mmmm especialy after a mini panic attack
7:48 p.m. - Saturday, Mar. 21, 2009

started at 1:36pm today--
i'm not at all looking forward to moving into the CS area. which may or may not happen as early as next week. from far away they suck. i dont want to b subjected to the high school mentality they seem to keep up in that lil room. bleh.
i have homework due tommorrow so i wanna get it all done today.
at the moment im enjoying it being sunny out and just chilling in my bed. checking emails. watching videos. catching up on TiVo too.
yay!
love this song..
Gavin DeGraw Behind the Scenes

did i tell you how fantastic Britney was this past Monday? amazing.
I had so much fun adn it was amuch needed break.
This wednesday is New Kids. YAY!

Taylor Swift is seriously the cutest thing on the planet ...wannabe

aside from my darling neice of course.
Did I tell you about Stanley!?
Ima tell you again if i did.
Tabitha's class is learning about travel and stuff. They read a book called

continued now---
I'll finish tabitha's story in a minute.
goodlord did i just have a twist to my relaxing day.
i dont think i'm built to handle emergecy situations.
i'm a pretty calm person. i mean i dont really freak out for th emost part but..
my dad shows up here at 2ish panicking. he can't breathe right. it's freaking him out.
it took me a 1/2 an hour to convince him to just go to the er and worry about how it would be paid later.
he finlly let me take him.
he was triaged and then we waited for a bit.
at 3:26 he went with a nurse to a room.
and from then until 5:15 when he came back out i felt my calm exterior deteriorate and the panic set in.
i cant do this alone. yes i can. i'll be fine. he's fine. he has a cold. thats all. maybe its a bad chest cold. thats all. its fine
several times i heard the walkies that the secuirty guys had go off. he has a collapsed lung. go get the person he came with ok we need to update them.
that's when reading my book wasn't working.
i want to call mom. i cant. i dont knwo anything. if i call she'll get worried and then be distracted all day. i'll just wait. if it's anything then i'll make calls. oh jesus, what if i have to make calls?
when we were just waiting together for his name to be called to go in he kept putting a time limit on how long he would wait. my dad is not the most paitent man. my dad actual has little to no paitence. and he hatees groups. and today was emergency day apparantly.
i prayed that they'd call him before his little limit was up. because this is the second time in a 3 week period hes shown up at the house panicking he couldnt breathe. and i couldnt take him going home and feeling like that.
i sat there for ooo 3 hoursish just freaking out.
it doesnt help that this morning my aunt called ot let us knwo she wasn't coming down this weekend because shes worried about my uncle.
he had heart palpitations at his volunteer place. they were worried he would have to go the emergency room b/c it was so bad they thought he would need to be shocked ot get it back to normal.
how on earth my friends do this, i dont know.
i mean megans dealt with way too much in her life. becky too, add in beckys dads health issues and..
good lord.
i took a walk.
i walked from the hospital to high street then up congress and back to the hospital.
i did that walk in 12 mins.
that was with waiting to cross and shit.
and its cold out.
i just kept having visions of the day one of them is gone.
and im the responsible kid. im the calm much less dramamtic kid. i'd be the one that would be there. that would have to call people if something happens.
that's frightening.

the verdict is he has a severe sinus infection. they precribed him something for it and said it should clear up in a few weeks. if it isnt getting any better they told him to make an appt to see his dr.
*deep breath*

we went out for chinese after.
funny cause the lunch i was cooking when dad showed up was chinese. funnier b/c lunch tommorrow is supposed to be chinese.
ha.

it was nice though. he and i dont see each other much any more.
we used to be together a lot more.
i miss our silly adventures.

you know what he did!?
he gave me $100.
its his way of showing appreciation.
i told him he was nuts and i didnt need it.
as usual he wouldnt let me give it back to him.
said it was for my concert on wednesday.
*shakes head*
that man will never get that i do things for him b/c i love him and i dont need money to know he appreciates it.
but its his thing.
its what he does.
its how he feels a part of everything.

*sigh*
now back to tab!
They read a story called Flat Stanley about a boy who gets flattened by a bulletin board but he doesnt get hurt he just gets flat. so its an easy way to travel. thus hes with me.
yay!
today was gonna eb a stanley day but not so much.

dude.
Gossip Girl this week was fucking fabulous.

and i still have homework to attempt to get done.

but first..to relax again.

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